The Effect of Gravity
by Sapphiros
Summary: Gravity's a Bitch. It's even more of a bitch when you fall 154 feet to your death. Though of course it decides to go to whole new levels of bitchiness when I end up in the Temple of Athame on Thessia before Columbus finds America. But Wait! It's not done yet! I end up in a coma for several hundred years and somehow have supernatural powers! What could go wrong? self insert/SI
1. Prologue

Lights. Incredibly cliche, but nonetheless what I wake up to after supposedly falling to death. Oh, too soon? Fine, I'll tell you how I died.

**15 minutes before I died**

"Have I mentioned how much I hate heights?" I ask. "Yes, now shut up start climbing." Answers my older sister Josselin. "Come on Pavel, it's not that bad." Says my mother. "Easy for you to say! You're not scared of heights!" I reply, unhappy that I have to climb the stair steps to the top of the lighthouse with them.

Let me introduce myself, my name is Pavel Williams, I'm 18 years old. I stand at a height of 6'1, the tallest so far in my family. I have Blue/Grey eyes often obscured by my glasses, curly brown hair with a few blond streaks, and a brown/blond mustache. I'm a gamer and a massive bookworm. My favorite game series though is Mass Effect. Its just the sheer size and scope of the game, as well as the possible choices and the effects that they could have is amazing. Like how doing this one mission can save another's life, or helping this person lead to them helping you in the future.

I'm currently climbing the lighthouse on Tybee Island in Georgia. The reason I'm here is because my mother loves lighthouses and she hasn't climbed this one yet. Just my luck she picked the 16th tallest lighthouse in the world.

I snap out of my reverie just as we reach the top steps of the tower. I hesitantly continue up and out onto the balcony and look towards the ocean. My mother had gotten us and after hours tour so we could see the sunset. Even I have to say that the sight was beautiful as the sun was falling to the horizon. I walked around on the balcony to admire the rest of the sight. It's during those few steps around the balcony that it happens. Someone or something kicked me in the back with enough force to push me over the rail. Time feels as if it slows down as thoughts start running through my head. What just happened, Why am I falling, I hate Heights, I'm scared. It reminds me of a saying that is ironic even as I fall, "Gravity's a bitch" These are my thoughts just before I hit the ground, effectively ending my life as I knew it.

* * *

**Temple of Athame, Thessia, 1618 CE**

It was a normal day in the Temple of Athame. It was a day the temple was closed though as the military was studying the technology hidden there. All of a sudden a void opened up just in front of the statue. Out of the void came a curious being. It looked just like the Asari except for, it, well, was pink. The being also seemed to have some sort of fur on its head just like the Quarians yet it wasn't a Quarian. Upon further inspection the could tell it was a male of whatever species it was.

The oldest Asari in the temple, a matron named Lidanya, quickly takes control and has the specimen taken to a room in the temple to get it out of the spotlight. She immediately contacts the councilor and the matriarchs about this new being. Its less than 24 hours before several highly skilled Asari scientists and doctors are there and examining the being. To their relief, and increasing curiosity, the being is also a levo-amino acid based organism and thus can sustain its life without much trouble.

* * *

**Temple of Athame, 1625 CE**

After examining the comatose being for seven years and going through intense debate about it. The Matriarchs decided to have someone who saw the being appear meld with it. The Matriarchs then had trouble deciding who to send. Eventually one volunteered.

Lidanya had been puzzled by this new being, or Grey she called him, since he appeared out of the void as if sent by the Goddess Athame. She was even more curious than the others due to have the earliest contact with him. "Alright, is everyone ready and monitoring their respective monitors?" "Yes ma'am, ready when you are." "Okay, I'm starting the meld now, Embrace eternity" she said as she entered Grey's mind.

* * *

**Pavel's mind, Just before the meld.**

Darkness. Confusion. I feel tired, and confused. Nothing has made any sense since I fell, everything is the same. _'Darkness EVERYWHERE! Is this heaven? Is this hell? Where am I! How long have I been here'_

I grow tired again. Everything is the same, nothing changes. I begin to fall back to sleep. But I cannot sleep, there is something here, something new. Ill think on it later. I'll sleep now. The new thing bothers me. Music comes from it that I do not want to hear. I growl at it. As if I was a beast. 'Am I a beast?' My thoughts grow peaceful as I go back to my reverie.

It bothers me again. I change, assuming the form of an ancient creature. My skin grows old and hangs tightly to my bones. I grow taller, Topping at 8 feet. The armor of the ancient vikings appears all around me. A sword covered in ancient runes materializes in my right hand, and a shield appeared in my left, covered in ancient runes as well. My face is obscured by a black helmet. Any Norseman worth his salt, or even a fan of skyrim would recognize this creature on sight. I had transformed into a Draugr.

**"LET ME HAVE MY REST AND LEAVE ME BE YOU ANNOYING PEST. LEST I SQUASH YOU LIKE A BUG UNDER MY SHOE! NOW GET OUT!"** I thunder, somehow ejecting the being. 'Good riddance' I think to myself as I revert to normal and start to fall asleep. Unaware of what I really just did.

* * *

**Lidanya POV**

"HOLY SHIT!" I yell as I'm ejected from his mind. I'm sent reeling and fall on my ass due to the sheer terror of that creature I saw in Grey's mind. I realize that I'm sweating and breathing hard. That image, that creature was scarier than a Krogan warlord. "Are you okay?" Asks one of the scientists beside me. I could detect a subtle hint of urgency in her voice."Uh, yeah, yeah I'm fine. But no way am I going back in there!" I reply, still wondering what the hell just happened. I mean, Grey turned into something that was scarier than a Krogan. A FUCKING KROGAN! I got up and started walking around so as to shake away my fear of this being. "Shit." I say as I realize something, "I have to tell the Matriarchs about this and it WILL not be pretty."

* * *

**Temple of Athame, 1650 CE**

It had been twenty-five years since the Asari had first tried melding with the being. Since the first failed attempt they had tried again twice. Both times ended with two scared Asari, but the difference between those two and the first was that the last two encountered nothing in the void that was the beings mind. Try as they might they could find nothing in the void, but they could feel something was there. They could feel that something was watching them, observing them. This scared them, to think a predator was watching them, sizing them up. This was why the Asari had not sent any others in and had made it volunteer only.

Luckily for them someone volunteered...

Aria T'loak was one of the best commandos Thessia had. Yet she was probably also the hardest to control. Her ability to think ahead consider many possible outcomes had made her a dangerous foe to all. Though it surprised her superiors and colleagues when she volunteered to meld with the unknown being. None were more surprised though than her squad leader Lidanya. Lidanya had told Aria of her encounter in the mind and how it scared the shit out of her. Little did she know this made Aria all the more eager to get in its head.

* * *

**Aria POV**

"Aria you really should reconsider your decision on this matter. No one has had an encounter that went even remotely well with Gre-this being" Lidanya says to me, correcting herself as she almost says her pet name for the being. "And I TOLD you. No! I will go into the mind of this man and find out what the hell it is doing here. You're not stopping me here Li." I reply confidently as I enter the room where the man sleeps. I signal to the waiting scientists, all of them the same ones who first saw him appear, that I was ready to begin. "Aria, I order you not to do this!" Lidanya says quickly, knowing this would not turn out well. I stop, feeling anger well up, but no, I can't be angry right now. I force myself to calm down and turn to face my squad leader. "Lidanya, you are trying to go against the will of the matriarchs, which is borderline treason. Are you sure you want to go there?" I ask, unable to stop the venom from leaking into my voice. Regardless, my bluff, although highly likely to be real, works like a charm and she backs off. I turn back to the man, and begin the meld. "Embrace Eternity."

* * *

**My mind, Just before the meld. Pavel POV**

In the years since the first meld, I had become even more aware of what I could do. I had discovered I could manipulate the water molecules in the air and transform them into ice as well as move objects with my mind. Being the logical person I am, I started calling the abilities cryokinesis and telekinesis respectively. The final thing I had discovered was that I could alter the space and have it take any form I wished. My current favorite was Omega, under Aria's rule of course. It seemed like an appropriate place for my alternate form. Another thing that I had discovered was how to transform into The Draugr. At first I had been puzzled by how I gained this ability, but I later began to attribute it to my heritage. My ancestry on my father's side was form the British Isles all the way, while my mother's side came from Sweden and other parts of northern Europe.

I was broken out of my thoughts as I felt another presence enter the void. I made sure to hide myself as the newest Asari appeared in the dock area. I smirk as I realize who the newcomer is.

* * *

**Aria POV**

I was confused, this was not the void that the others saw. This was Omega, yet it was different than the Omega that I knew. The Omega that I knew did not have any of these pink beings. The Omega that I knew was chaotic and unsafe for even a skilled mercenary. Yet here was an Omega where crime was controlled. Where you could actually raise a family. I felt impelled to go see what changed with the warlord, why he had changed his policies and actually took command. I ran to Afterlife, the warlord's favorite hangout, past the bouncer, through the hall, around the bar, up the steps and what I saw took my breath away. What I saw... Who I saw... Was me, an older, wiser, more powerful me but it was still me. This was a woman that you did not fuck with. This was a woman who was an ultimate badass and able to control Omega. This was me.

**"Amazing isn't it? She worked to get where she is. She planned far ahead and took down the previous ruler. Now he stays here, disgraced and is now called by a name this woman gave him, Patriarch."** I jump as I hear the voice speak, and there stands the creature Lidanya saw. The Draugr stood there, amused by the irony of the situation, He had chosen to sculpt the void in Omega's image and the queen, or at least queen-ling chooses to visit. "Wha-What is this?" I ask, fumbling for words to speak after seeing this awe-inspiring sight. **"There is a question my race sometimes asks those coming to adulthood. The question is where do you see yourself in ten years. Naturally 10 years is to short for an Asari to accomplish things, but let me ask you in a way you can sympathize with. Where do you see yourself in 400 years? There are many possible outcomes for the various choices in life. This is one of them."** The giant says as he indicates the older Aria. "You mean, this sexy badass right here is me?" I say, admiring my sexy, older self.** "I did not say it was you, only that it could be. It is by your choice that you can become this person, or someone else. Please do keep all of this a secret. Say you saw the black void or something. Just know that I will repay you later on in life. Have a nice day Ms. T'loak"** The Draugr says. I could hear the grin in his voice and then I realize why he said that as I am forcefully ejected from his mind.

* * *

**Outside the meld. General POV**

"I'm worried. She's been in there a long time" Lidanya says to no one in particular. Aria had been in the meld for the longest amount of time yet. All of a sudden Aria takes a deep breath, signifying that she was forcefully ejected from Pavel's mind. "Are you alright Aria" Lidanya and one of the scientists asks. "What did you see?" another scientists asks. "I saw nothing, just a fucking void and no armored creatures. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go tender my resignation and begin planning." She says as she starts walking away, then quietly mutters asshole after she walks a few feet. "Okay then. WAIT WHAT?!"

* * *

**Temple of Athame, 1961 CE Pavel's POV**

It had been several hundred years since the meld with Aria, not that I could tell of course. Time was irrelevant to me. At least 50 more Asari attempted to gain information about me. All 50 of them failed. I had changed my mindscape again, this time it was the bar on Ilium. I was working as the bartender and serving drinks to phantoms and other illusions. But something new happened and a clear Asari appeared and sat down. She was high-def compared to all the other beings here, and I had a feeling I was about to find out why.

"So what can I get for ya?" I ask, already guessing what she'd ask for and walking towards the Ryncol.

"I'll have a Ryncol on the rocks my good sir." The Asari replies as I move to the cups with Ryncol in hand. I set in down in front of her and go to collect and clean the glasses. The phantoms start filtering out and in that time the Asari went through two more glasses of Ryncol before the bar is empty.

"So." The Asari begins, "You got a name?"

"Hasn't anyone ever told you that it's rude to ask someone's name without introducing yourself first?" I shoot back, knowing I would probably enjoy this conversation.

She chuckles "The names Aethyta kid, and yours is?"

"Pavel Williams, and to answer the next question I am a Human, just like you are an Asari." I say as I walk around the bar and take a seat next to her.

"Funny, I was actually going to ask if you knew the date." She says, catching me off guard. Now I knew I would enjoy the conversation.

"Actually I don't know that one. The last I knew it was the year 2013. But it could be different considering I fell to my death and ended up here." I said, indicating the surroundings.

"Well shit, looks like you've got a story to tell. Good thing we got plenty of time." Aethyta replies, already figuring out how to conjure things up.

"You gonna tell me the date first? It would make the story better." I ask her, curious and happy that I would finally know what the date was.

"Well the year is 1961, and you got here in 1618." She says before seeing shock appear on my face, "What? Something wrong?"

"Are you sure that's right?" I ask, disbelief written all over my face.

"Yep, pretty sure, I didn't become a matriarch without knowing how time works y'know." Aethyta tells me.

"Wellll. Shit. I'm now a time traveler and the oldest person alive among humans. Seriously, humans have a lifespan equal to that of Turians. Though all I need to know now is just where the fuck this place is. I mean seriously, I've been stuck in this place for 343 years and only Asari have been able to get here and Oh..." I stop talking and face-palm once I realize where I am. "Wow, You have no idea how stupid I feel right now." I say, feeling incredibly dumb and silently cursing my blond roots.

"If it makes you feel better, I know the feeling. Just I experienced it a little differently." She says, trying to comfort me and at the same time recalling an embarrassing moment.

"What? Did Benezia catch you staring at her tits or something?" I ask, meaning for it to be a joke, but then I saw her cheeks turn purple and I immediately felt the need to tease her about it. "HOLY SHIT I WAS RIGHT?! I meant that as a joke. But really? Why don't you just ask her out? It's not like she going to laugh at you just for asking. I can tell you now that you have a higher chance of being with her than I have a chance of being with a Quarian. Even if the female Quarians are better looking than the Asari. Don't give me that look, have you ever seen a Quarian without their face-mask?" I ask her and she shakes her head no. "Let me tell you this, If the Quarians could live without their suits, then the females would be the picture of elegance. Wait a minute, I could just show you the only picture I've ever seen of a Quarian without her mask." As I say this, I conjure up the memory and the picture of Tali appears in my hand. I show it to Aethyta and chuckle as her cheeks turn purple again. "So." I begin, "am I right, or am I right? Just don't start a Quarian fan club on me alright." She nods as she gets back her composure.

"I may not start one, but I know a gal who will. And hell yes you were right. If I weren't set for Benezia, I would be adding another species to my list of kids."

"Okaaaay, moving on!" I quickly say as I wanted to avoid that topic. "So, since I'm in my mind, where is my body? And how exactly did you get in my head without alerting me." I ask, curious about where I ended up.

"Well you are currently in the Temple of Athame on Thessia, and for the second question..." She trails off, scratching her cheek. "You know how Asari normally meld right?" I nod. "Well I'm not doing that. I'm lying on top of you. My pelvic area is resting on yours and our lips are touching." My cheeks turn red as I realize what she's doing and I look away to hide my blush. She realizes that I'm embarrassed and decides to tease me. "Awww, is poor Pavel embarrassed?"

"Of course I am, I died a virgin and suddenly there's an Asari kissing me while pressing her best assets up against me. How else would a guy act?" I say, still blushing up a storm and somewhat weirded out that LIARA'S DAD was my first kiss.

"Well shit, that sucks. Seriously, I think you're the galaxy's oldest virgin. I mean even Councilor Tevos has gotten laid, what with the stick up her ass and all." She says bluntly.

"If I have a chance then I will try to remove. that stick. If its still up her ass by the time shit gets started then I will consider her a hopeless failure. But anyways, I really think you should try asking Benezia out. If you start having trouble. Just wing it. You should be fine. Now If you'll excuse me, I need to go find the connection between my mind and my body. I'd appreciate it though if I didn't have any more visits before I woke up. Good luck Aethyta." I smile at her, enjoying the view as I boot her from my mind.

"Now, where the fuck is that connection dammit."

* * *

**Temple of Athame, Thessia, July 21, 1969, 10:56 EST**

I open my eyes for the first time in 351 to the sight of ceiling lights. There is no one else in the room that I can see. I start testing out my body, twitching fingers, wiggling my toes, bending the joints. It dawns of me that whatever extended my life also gave me a more muscular body. It did not help with my eyesight though. I slowly sit up and take stock of the room. Its rather large for just being my bedroom. I spot my glasses on a night stand and put them on. It is after I do this that I notice the room has a balcony. I get up, noticing that they had not changed my clothes, a pair of jeans and a polo shirt, and walk to the balcony. Once I get there I thank the Lady Luck for allowing me to see Thessia in all her glory without reapers attacking the place. I must have spent 5 minutes looking at the view before I hear the door open. It was the first Asari that melded with me. "Hello" I say with a smile, somewhat excited to meet an Asari in person. But what happens next just destroys my good mood.

"Aw irrumabo, obliti lingua obice." The woman says.

"Aw FUCK!" I exclaim, face-palming.


	2. The Mind Fuck

In the years since 1969, a strange being had appeared. throughout the galaxy. The being, Draugen, as it came to be known by, would show up at random and change something drastically. There were many rumors about him, that he worked for Aria, that he worked for the Shadow Broker, even some that said he was the Shadow Broker. One thing was certain though. No matter where he appeared, things would change for the better. He was considered a force of good to the innocent. Even the mercenary gangs like the Blue Suns and Eclipse treated him with respect for the most part. Though there was one thing they could never figure out. Where had Draugen come from?

* * *

S**SV Normandy 2183, en route to Eden Prime, Pavel POV**

I followed Commander Jane Shepard to the cockpit, watching as she checked to make sure everything was alright. "Joker, get us to Eden Prime please." She says in that voice most fans know and love.

"Aye aye Commander" he replies as he flies us through the relay to Eden Prime.

"Impressive work Mr. Moreau." Says Nihlus, scaring the bejeesus out of me, Shepard, Joker, and Kaidan. "Keep it up and I'm sure all the Spectres would want you as a pilot." He says before walking away.

"I hate that guy" Joker mutters, staying true to form. "He gives you a compliment, so you hate him?" Kaidan replies.

"Spectres are always trouble. And its creepy enough having someone pop up behind you. But when they make no sound? NO thank you!" Joker shoots back.

"Hey, you think that's creepy, what about those magazines you read." I pipe up, putting my two cents in, and shocking Joker at the same time.

"What magazines? I don't read any magazines." Joker says, trying to play it off.

"What? Now I have to say the name of it, its For-" I start to say but he cuts me off. "Fine, you got me, just keep that quiet." He says forgetting that there were two others there.

"What magazine was that Williams?" Shepard asks, smirking.

"Yeah, tell us Major." Kaidan says, grinning at Joker.

"Sure! It's For Those about to Laugh! You know, I took a look at that and decided I'm better off making my own jokes." I smirk, having fun whilst messing with Joker's head.

"Hey Commander, don't you have mission to get to?" Joker says, changing the subject quickly.

Luckily for him Anderson speaks over the comm,"Joker, status report"

"We've cleared the relay and Nihlus is heading your way." Joker replies.

"Nihlus is already here, but tell Shepard and Williams to meet us in the Comm Room." Anderson says.

"We are on the way Captain." Shepard tells him before turning and walking towards the Comm Room with me in tow.

We arrive and see Nihlus is waiting there. "Ah, Shepard, I was hoping you'd arrive first." He says, ignoring me. I decide to ignore him in turn and turn my tactical cloak on, thinking it'd be funny to scare the shit out of Anderson.

"Why's that?" She replies.

"Well, you are the Hero of Elysium aren't you? Even us Spectres take note of those who can hold off Batarian slavers and protect innocents at the same time." Nihlus chuckles, or at least I think he did, it's hard to tell with Turians.

"Hey, all I did was pull them into the air and shoot them. That isn't much really." Ah yes, Shepard was an Adept in this life, and I could tell that this would spell trouble for me later. After that thought the door slid open and the Captain walked in, earning a smirk from me as he didn't notice my presence.

"Alright, you ready to tell her what's really going on Nihlus?" He asks.

"Yes I am, this mission is actually far more than a simple shakedown run Commander." Nihlus says,turning his attention back to Shepard.

"The truth is that some scientists discovered a Prothean Beacon on Eden Prime." Anderson starts, leaving Nihlus to finish it, "And our mission is to retrieve it and take it to the citadel for study." It is at this moment that I briefly consider releasing a silent but deadly fart as payback for ignoring me. Instead I just sit back and wait for them to get on with it.

"Why wasn't I told of this?" Jane asks, obviously miffed about it.

"It was a strictly need to know basis Commander. And you didn't need to know." Anderson replies.

I smirk and drop the cloak, "What about me? Why was I called down here." I say, enjoying the sight of an N7, a Captain, and a Spectre jumping.

"FUCK Williams don't do that!" Shepard berates me as I bend over laughing. She swiftly punches me in the arm and effectively kills the funniness.

"Owww, you don't have to be such a buzzkill. Its yours and Nihlus's fault for ignoring me anyways." I say, rubbing my arm where she punched me.

"You are here because for whatever reason the AO ordered me to tell you the details." Anderson says, getting over his shock.

"Wait! You mean to tell me that this asshole has some sort of connection to the AO of all things!" Shepard asks incredulously, not believing for a second that I would be important. Nice Shepard, real nice.

"More like this 'asshole' is a direct subordinate of him." I pipe up, earning shocked looks from Shepard and Anderson.

"Ummm, who or what is this AO that you speak of?" Nihlus asks, having less knowledge than he should about humans. Since Shepard and Anderson were still out of it, I decided to explain.

"The AO is a who. Though no one except for himself knows his true name. You know how Asari have their Matriarchs and such?" He nods. "Well the AO, or the Ancient One, is our equivalent to the entirety of Asari Matriarchs due to the fact that he is the oldest Human alive and no one else can meet his equal in lifespan among humans." Nihlus's jaw drops, or at least the Turian equivalent of it, as he realizes just how much power the AO had among humans.

"You mean to say that this one person has all that all that authority and power. Does the council know of this?!" He asks. I laugh inwardly as this is hilarious beyond belief.

"Yes, the Council knows. In fact, they introduced us to him. You could consider him the unoffical councilor of humanity." Anderson replies, surprised that Nihlus knew nothing of the AO despite being a Spectre.

"Why the hell didn't I know about this!" Nihlus asks, raising his voice. "Because he thought it would be funny." I say and they all turn their heads to look at me and see that I had my omnitool open and recording everything. At that instant several different things happen. Anderson face-palms, Shepard biotically punches me out of the room, and Nihlus realizes that the Ancient One is and Ancient Asshole.

As for me, I was lucky enough to put up a small telekinetic barrier to take the brunt of the blow. But as fate would have it, some of the punch still got through and it hurt like hell. I get up slowly and walk towards the door and open it long enough to say one thing, "TOTALLY WORTH IT!" After that I go down to the cargo bay and start putting my gear on.

It is 15 minutes later that Shepard, Nihlus, Jenkins, and Alenko finally come down. Shepard gives me a dirty look to which I respond with a grin. Nihlus just shakes his head at me while Jenkins and Kaidan remain clueless.

"Williams!" Shepard says sternly. "Yeeessss Commander?" I reply with a mocking tone, grinning madly.

"You're staying behind." She tells me, effectively being a buzzkill again.

"No I'm not, AO's orders Shepard." I reply without missing a beat.

"Fuck the AO! Your ass is staying here and that's final! You need to learn that actions have consequences." She says, raising her voice on that one. I stay quiet for a moment as I weigh my options. Once I come to a conclusion I smirk.

"Fine then, but don't blame me if someone breaks a leg or something *cough* *Jenkins* *cough*." I say to her before I walk away from her and towards the elevator. Though I have one more thing to say before I leave. "Good luck Jenkins!" Its too bad Jenkins doesn't know it's bad luck to say good luck on opening night.

* * *

**Shepard POV, just after the meeting ends.**

I don't like Williams. The guy is a total ass! It's almost as if he has nothing better to do than screw with peoples' heads. Another thing that I don't like was that I don't have access to his files. And the ones I do have access to are mostly inked out. The guy was incredibly confusing. He appeared mysteriously wherever I was when I actually needed help.

I was known publicly as the Hero of Elysium, but without him showing up out of the blue during the attack then I probably wouldn't be alive today. Then I heard that he was on Akuze during the Thresher Maw attack. Though I knew there was only one Marine there that survived.

Here was a man who had an impressive record, N7 level, if not higher, skills, and he wastes them by pissing off the people that matter and getting penalized! Hell, the man apparently had the best relations with the AO in the entire Alliance.

He should have been the Normandy's XO instead of me. He should have been Humanity's first Spectre candidate instead of me. He should be Humanity's poster boy instead of me being the poster girl. It's like any information of his heroics is intentionally smothered.

I should have been just a ground soldier and him the leader of ground team. Its the opposite though, I'm the leader of the ground team and he is just a member of the ground forces. I should be happy but instead I'm irritated. The worst part is that I don't even know why!

The elevator opens up to the cargo bay and there he is. Grinning at me as if what happened was the funniest thing in the world. I definitely was not going to let him get away with it this time."Williams!" I say sternly, almost enjoying the thought of knocking him down a peg or two.

"Yeeessss Commander?" He replies, mocking me yet again.

"You're staying behind." I say, managing to suppress all of my happiness in that sentence.

To my glee he resists the order. "No I'm not. AO's orders Shepard." He says, making me frown inwardly.

I don't take too long to reply though, and my voice to show that I'm serious."Fuck the AO! Your ass is staying here and that's final! You need to learn that your actions have consequences." To my surprise he actually stays quiet and considers his options.

My happiness ends however when he smirks. "Fine then! But don't blame me if someone breaks a leg or something." After he says that he coughs and I swear I heard him say Jenkins before he coughs again. He turns and walks to the elevator, wishing Jenkins good luck as he passes.

I start wondering if he knows what's going on already on the planet below. If he does know, I need to find out how he knows. Because I'm sure that not even The Shadow Broker can get info that fast. I snap out of my daze as I realize Kaidan was calling me.

"Oh sorry. Did you say something?"

"Yeah, are you okay?" Kaidan asks.

"Oh, I'm fine. Its nothing." I say to him, not entirely sure of myself.

"Its Pavel isn't it?" He replies, being somewhat perceptive.

I sigh. "You nailed it. I just really really don't like that guy. He's such an ass! On top of that he has a mysterious past, has saved me before, and has a personality that makes Joker look normal. The guy is even connected to the AO. Yet somehow I'm in charge of the ground team, even though he outranks me! I just told him to stay put for this one and he didn't argue with me. There is something incredibly weird about all of this."

"Okay, I'll give you that. But what really is so bad about him? Sure he acts like an ass, but he is a Major after all. Its be weird if he didn't" Kaidan laughs. He had obviously been waiting to use that one. I get the feeling Williams also knew the irony of his rank.

"Fine. I'll stop worrying about it for now. But he is still off the mission." I say, sticking to my decision.

"Wasn't trying to get him on. Its your call. But, nevermind, here comes Anderson." He says turning to the Captain.

"Your team's the muscle in this operation, Commander. Go in heavy and head straight for the dig site." Anderson says once he gets close.

"What about survivors Captain?" Kaidan asks.

"Helping survivors is a secondary objective. The beacon is your top priority." The older man replies.

Joker's voice comes over the comm at this time."Approaching drop point one."

Nihlus begins walking towards us. "Nihlus? You're coming with us?" Jenkins asked, sounding surprised.

"I move faster on my own." He replies and jumps out of the cargo bay. Anderson clears things up after Nihlus jumps.

"Nihlus will scout out ahead. He'll feed you status reports throughout the mission; otherwise, I want radio silence."

"We've got his back Captain." I reply

* * *

**5 minutes later. Pavel's POV**

Shepard had just left the ship, I had iced the ground where Jenkins was supposed to die and even sabotaged the traction on his boots to ensure that he would slip and fall and break a leg. Yup. I was dedicated to have him survive but still be out of commission Now all that was left was for me to decide how to make my entrance.

Get dropped of nearby and snipe Geth chasing Ashley? Nah, kinda boring for me. Jump out the cargo bay and float down? Too risky, even if I am a superhuman. I still need to maintain my guise as well. Have Joker bring the Normandy down to where Jenkins is, pick him up, then go with Shepard? No way! I'd be smiling way too much and Shepard would be incredibly pissed off at me. Then Ashley would quite possibly die, and we can't have that can we?

It is then that I realize the best way to make an entrance. _'Thank the Lady for inventing Halo'_ I think to myself as I start walking to Joker to tell him my idea.

* * *

**Shepard POV; Just after encountering Geth drones.**

This was not my day. This was not my day at all. First I get told that we aren't running a simple shakedown, but are instead picking up a prothean beacon that will quite possibly get us into the good graces of the council. Then Williams makes an ass out of himself by recording Nihlus's reaction because "The AO thought it would be funny." Next I'm told I might become a Spectre if everything goes well. Then we found out that and unknown force, which turned out to be Geth, have a huge ass ship and are attacking the colony to get the beacon. Williams actually does as I say for once without arguing. What is the galaxy coming to?

Now here I am, looking over the side of the cliff to see if Jenkins survived that fall. He somehow managed to slip on ice as he was moving forward and slid off the cliff. I'm beginning to think it was a bad idea keeping Williams on the ship. Because after Jenkins slipped and fell there were drones firing at where he would have been standing had he not fell. I actually think that he would be dead, if he wasn't from that fall, had he not slipped in the first place.

Why was there ice here anyways?

"Jenkins! You alright!" I call, fully expecting to hear no reply. But I do hear something, it sounded like someone groaning in pain.

"Shite, Kommander, I don't, tink I'm, alright. I tink I broke mine legs!" Jenkins says, in a voice and accent that makes him sound like he's speaking broken English.

"Well, stay put Jenkins, we're going to get you out of there!" I call, getting ready to climb down and help him out.

"No good Commander! Getting me would result in the failure of this mission. You need to leave me here and continue on! I'll be fine!" Jenkins yells, speaking in a normal voice again. I'm just about to argue with with him when Kaidan puts a hand on my shoulder. I sigh as I realize Jenkins is right.

"Alright Richard! I'll make sure to send some people to get you out." I tell him, marking his location for the Normandy. I get up and leave with Kaidan in tow.

"Joker." I say activating the comms. "Yes Commander?" He replies. "Have Williams dropped off near our location." I say, unhappy that I actually need him now.

"Can do Commander." Joker says and ends the transmission.

I keep my Carnifex at the ready just in case we run into more hostiles. We go through a grove of trees and spot two more drones right there. I fire two shots and manage to get one down before taking cover. I throw a warp at the other one and Kaidan takes down the other one with his Predator. I stay put as a third drone appears, only to get blown apart by Kaidan.

We continue forward and we see a clearing and see a soldier running from some Geth. She goes down and kills the ones chasing her, only to turn around and see three others impale a colonist on a spike. She quickly gets up and runs for cover as the Geth take a second to process what's going on.

I bring up my pistol to shoot the Geth but the weirdest thing happens. Two of the Geth get crushed by some sort of escaped pod, with the last being destroyed by the door of the pod that was kicked outwards. The thing that freaks me out though is not who comes out of it, but what he does upon getting out.

* * *

**Pavel POV, just before the drop.**

"Thank the Lady for making Halo and providing us with these wonderful Orbital Drop pods!" I say to myself as I admire one. I had pitched the idea to the engineers and the higher-ups and they happened to like the idea. The only problem was that the current alliance soldiers needed extensive training to become and ODST. I still managed to get several pods place on the Normandy for our use. I started going through my pre-drop checklist.

Forest green N7 Destroyer armor? Check.

Irene? Check.

Penelope? Check.

Medi-gel? Check.

Omni-gel? Check.

Anaklusmos? Wait, how the hell did that get here? I toss the pen away.

Everything good? Alright! "Joker! I'm ready for the drop!"

"Finally! I actually get to shoot you off the ship!" Joker exclaims.

"Hey Joker, did you know that the playing card joker was based off of medieval fools?" I say. But I don't get my answer as the pod drops. It is only seconds after I start falling that I realize why I never tested it out.

"Damn it! I forgot I had bathophobia! Shit Shit Shit Shit shit SHIIIITTT! Holy fucknuts on a cloudy day! Holy Fuckymonkeys! Shit fuck!" I yell these and many other obscenities as I fall.

* * *

After I hit the ground, I kick the door out and and yank my helmet off so that I can kiss the ground. I don't notice Shepard and the rest at first standing there in shock, but once I do, I ask them a question. "I'd like to see you get dropped from orbit and not want to do what I just did." I say getting up. I reach down to grab my helmet and put it on.

"What?" Shepard starts.

"The?" Kaidan continues.

"Fuck?" Ashley finishes.

"It's an orbital drop pod. The puppies aren't standard yet as we have no program to train soldiers for them. I managed to pull a few strings and get some on the Normandy. An N7 probably would be able to use one. But you saw my reaction there, what do you think theirs would be?" I say, still too freaked out to make jokes.

"You mean to tell me we could have used those and Jenkins wouldn't have broken legs!?" Shepard asks.

"No, you and I could have. Jenkins and Kaidan couldn't due to lack of sufficient training. It is an ORBITAL DROP pod, not Drop from sky-diving height pod." I tell her. I'm actually beginning to wonder why I didn't just take her place.

"Wait, you mean you fell from space in that thing?" Ashley asks, not even trying to hide the awe in her voice.

"Indeed I did. And before you ask no you cannot use one. Now I do believe you have yet to introduce yourself." I say to Ashley, causing her to snap to attention.

"Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams of the 212. You the one in charge here ma'am?" Ashley says, turning to Shepard.

"Are you wounded, Williams?" Shepard asks, momentarily forgetting what kind of person I am.

"NOPE! Unless you count my ego, because my badass entry was ruined because I forgot how far I was falling and remembered everything that could go wrong." I say, enjoying the sight of Shepard face-palming.

"Not you! I was talking to Ashley you dumbass." Shepard says, irritated by my jokes.

"Last time I checked I was neither dumb nor a farm animal that walked on all fours as well as having a tail and a large rump." I reply, being the ever present smartass.

This joke gets a laugh out of Kaidan, a look of confusion out of Ashley and a exasperated face out of Shepard.

"Okay, what am I missing here?" Ashley asks.

"Here's how it is. I am Major Pavel Williams. This man with hair reminiscent of Elvis is Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko. Last but not least is the fiery redhead who wants to cave my face in with her fist as well as the leader of this team, Commander Jane Shepard. For some reason, Shepard actually blushes after I say this. I actually decide to let this one go as we took up too much time.

"Alright. Long story short. Chief here lost here entire squad. Well, cept Bates. He's currently being interrogated by Cerberus. I've already sent a squad to get him though. Also, welcome to the team Ash, we're going to get the bastard responsible for this. And before you complain Commander. Yes I have the authority and I promise you'll like her. Now let's haul ass!" I shout the last part and start moving forward with Irene drawn.

"The beacon should be at the far end of this trench." Ashley says, moving forward with me. I mentally follow along with the tutorial and crouch, inching forward slowly . I take aim at the Geth standing watch and pull the trigger, unleashing the fury of the girl upon my enemies.

Hold on. Let me tell you about Irene. Irene is a modified black widow. How did I get one? Well let's just say I made a suggestion about how to improve the Widow and it helped them create the black widows. All except for Irene. She went in to get colored black and came out green. They were puzzled as to how it happened but I took Irene to be a sign that Lady Luck was watching over me even in the MEverse. Ever since then Irene has been my mean green lucky badass queen and aided me with countless lucky shots.

That first kill alerted the three others nearby to our presence. Not that it made any difference though. The second one popped out only to be taken down by Irene. The other two I let Shepard and the gang kill.

Ashley looks around the dig site as she comes to where the beacon was. "This is the dig site. The prothean beacon was right here. It must have been moved." She says.

"By who? Our side or the Geth?" Kaidan replies. Its almost annoying really to see the same old thing over and over.

"Hard to say. Maybe we'll know more after we check out the research camp." Ashley says, being the military girl as usual. "You think anyone got out of here alive?" Shepard asks, ever the paragon.

"Yes if they were lucky. There's a small camp up ahead. Nihlus is about to contact us and say he's heading for the spaceport. Blah blah blah. Shall we move on or am I going to die of old age?" I ask, getting somewhat impatient. I knew what was coming up next. So I decided to switch Irene out for Penelope, my beloved bright pink claymore shotgun.

"What the hell is that?" Shepard asks incredulously after seeing my shotgun.

"This, my dear Jane, is an M-300 Claymore shotgun. Heavy as hell but does enough damage to blow your brains out of your ass at mid and close range." I reply proudly.

"I know that... Just why the hell is it pink?" She asks, still staring at my beloved Penelope.

"Because. Its humiliating when you find out you got owned by a pink shotgun. Why? You have a problem with pink or something?" I ask, giving her a pointed stare. Even Ashley joins in and gives Shepard a pointed stare as well. Kaidan only looks amused by Shepard blunder.

"I agree. The humiliation factor is quite nice." Nihlus cuts in over the comm.

Shepard's face turns beet red as we pick on her for the criticizing my Penelope. "Shut up and keep moving Pavel." She says, embarrassed that everyone called her out.

I decide to have a little bit more fun there. "Shut up and keep moving...?" I say, letting the sentence hang for her to finish.

A look of irritation crosses her face. "Shut up and keep moving SIR!" She yells the sir part in my ear and walks past with a smirk on her face.

I chuckle, glad that Jane was finally having fun. It is only then that I remember the husks and my mood falls. I pull Penelope up and follow closely behind Shepard.

"Looks like the camp got hit pretty hard. Perfect place for an ambush commander." After Ashley says this is when the Husks come down. I blow the first one head off with Penelope and throw the second sky high, generating an icy blue cloak around me to cover for a biotic.

Shepard had already killed the third and was looking at me with her mouth wide open. I just look at her, wondering what got her panties in a twist now. "You're a biotic?!" Shepard half yells, half asks. I face-palm. Apparently this Shepard didn't fully look through what she could.

"Yes I am. I thought you read my file." I deadpanned.

"I skimmed it?" She says, sounding not too sure of herself and looking at me sheepishly.

"C'mon. You can look around the camp. I'm going to rendezvous with Nihlus." I say, activating my cloak to ensure my escape. I full on sprint towards Nihlus afterwards. As I come to the space port I can see Nihlus approaching Saren. As I couldn't exactly use my powers this time and get away with it. I decided to do the next best thing, become someone who could.

It never was fun becoming Draugen. It was actually quite painful really. But over time the pain had become bearable the more I transformed. Though I discovered I could not use any weapons, with the exception of a Revenant and melee weapons, in this form. The upside though was that all the stuff I had on was sent to some sort of pocket dimension and returned to the same place as it was before.

I got between Nihlus and Saren. With good timing too as Saren had yet to turn around. I transformed into Draugen and uncloaked just as Saren pulled the trigger. The gun fired and did nothing against my armor, but my appearance had its intended effect. Nihlus did a 180 degree turn and whipped his pistol out.

**"Nihlus."** I said.** "Do ye remember mah words Nihlus. This is that time."** Nihlus hangs his head visibly distraught at Saren's betrayal.

**"Fortunately for ya Saren. Today is nah your day tah die. While killin ya would be easy for meh. It would complicate that which is ta happen. Run now. Use tha beacon and escape with ya life."** I say to Saren. Surely enough he heeds my words and runs like the pansy ass he is. I turn to Nihlus, not bothering to remove the helmet that covers my entire head.

**"Tha shit is abou ta hit tha fan young one. Ah suggest ya take a vacation and take ya time to get ya head straight. Ya may tell tha council of mah presence this time. Now it is time for meh ta move on ta tha next area. May we meet ahgain Nihlus."** I say to him and start transforming back, cloaking at the first chance. Once I'm normal I move a few feet away from where my Draugr form stood.

"That was hard to watch." I say solemnly, uncloaking and startling Nihlus.

"Even harder to experience." Nihlus replies, sounding sad.

Shepard actually walks up at this point in time. She glared harshly at me and was about to say something but I gave her a look that said now is not the time. She nods in understanding and continues on past Nihlus. After we get far enough away she finally speaks.

"What happened?" She asks.

"The Draugr appeared and saved Nihlus's Life. Another Spectre named Saren Arterius, Nihlus's friend, was leading the attack in order to get the beacon. For whatever reason. The Draugr let him go, saying it would complicate things if he died." I say in a serious voice, no shits and giggles for me right now.

"We need to get to that beacon then. Williams, Alenko! Come on!" She says and draws her Carnifex. I myself draw Irene as she'd be the most use right now.

We fight our way through the Geth, disarming Saren's bombs and basically having no trouble. I actually remained quiet throughout the entire thing, which I think scared Shepard more than anything else. We get to the beacon and I'm debating on what to do.

My thoughts are disrupted as Kaidan acts like a dork and goes near the beacon. Shepard goes to pull him back and I join her, not even thinking of what would happen. Once we get pulled into the air the beacon imprints its information in our minds. The actual thing is much worse than the game. The horrors, the deaths, and to think I thought the reaper war of this cycle had been bad. The visions keep getting worse and worse until finally, I black out.

* * *

**24 hours later**

Four humans, a quarian, and I walk into the council chambers. Sounds like the start of a bad joke right? Wrong. I had gone and saved Tali's scrumptious ass first before doing anything else. Now I was walking along with Shepard, Ashley, Udina, Anderson, and Tali into the council chambers. The council was actually there in physical appearance today. Unlike Shepard I was actually looking forward to this. Ill give you one and only one hint as to why.

"Hey Tevos dear, still got that stick up your ass?"

* * *

**A/N: Finally, I remembered to get this up. I thank those who reviewed, with the exception of the guest who didn't realize I started before the events of ME1. Though if one does want to criticize how much influence Pavel would really have. Think about it, He's had 214 years to prepare for everything. Its logical that he would use the time wisely and become someone like the Shadow Broker. Given that the Asari also hid the beacon in the Temple of Athame from the rest of the galaxy then its not surprising that they would cooperate with him and get an even greater ally once humanity came into play.**


	3. Pavel 1, Turians ZERO!

**A/N: Hello my fans and welcome back. This chapter is going to screw with your minds and everything you know about the council. I did get a message asking me about how the story went from the prologue straight to Eden Prime and there was no mention of what happened in between. That was deliberate because it leaves the rest of the story open for changes that will happen. One example you've already seen is Pavel becoming the AO and having immense pull and authority among Humanity. You'll see more of the things that Pavel's arrival changed in this chapter.**

**Also as I have neglected to mention. This is my first time writing a story outside of a school-assigned essay or any similar thing.**

**AND LEAVE REVIEWS! You're killing me by not reviewing here. 600+ views and only 10 reviews. Really people?**

* * *

"Hey Tevos dear, do you still have that stick up your ass?" I ask Tevos, grinning as if I won the lottery. We had all entered the Council chamber and it was different than how it was in the game. Instead of there being an open space between the Council and us, there was a solid metal floor. Another different was that the were no levels for people to watch from like they did when Shepard was made a Spectre.

"I don't know, you gonna come up here and check?" She replies flirtatiously, giving me a sultry smile.

"Later deary, as much as I really really want to. We have more pressing matters at hand. Also, they're still not clued in." I say to her, making a mental note to prepare my omni-paddle to use on her later.

The reactions from everyone are priceless! Thank the Lady I have my omni-tool recording this.

Donnel Udina, the jackass we call Humanity's AmbASSador, fainted. I'm not shittin ya he dropped like a sack of stones from the shock.

Captain Anderson, the man who always has his game face on, had his mouth open so wide it might as well have been touching the floor.

Ashley Williams, the girl who has a bad history with higher ups, has no clue what the hell just happened other than that I like Aliens.

Tali'Zorah Nar Rayya, the very attractive and cute Quarian, also has no idea what's going on.

Commander Jane Shepard, the Badass of Humanity, Hero of Elysium, extremely dangerous biotic, is wondering how the hell I managed to score the Asari Councilor and make her act that way in public. How a complete ass like me got the Scion of the Asari.

Nihlus Kryik, Turian Spectre extraordinaire, was shaking his head and muttering something about needing a drink.

Councilor Sparatus, the dick who trusts a bare-face and allows him to get away sacot-free, has his jaw as low as it can go and mandibles flared as outward as they can, the Turian equivalent of a jaw drop, is wondering what the hell happened to Tevos and who the Asari standing next to him is.

Councilor Valern, the most logical of the three, has finally figured out just why Tevos has them stand up so much.

"I think you broke them Honey." I say, smiling at Tevos.

"I think I did too. I probably should have waited til later shouldn't I have?" She asks.

"Yep, it's a good thing I brought the jammer today as well." I say to her. No chance I'm letting the Shadow Broker and others like him know about this.

"Wha? How? You? When? HOW! What! What the hell is going!?" Shepard roars, pissed that I once again destroyed her preconceptions of me.

"Would you mind explaining this Major?" Anderson asks, recovering quickly.

"Yes Human, explain yourself.' Sparatus says, having recovered thanks to Anderson

"Sure Turian, explain yourself for trusting a bare-face. Anyways, dickless turians aside. The explanation is rather simple. Everyone! Meet my wife and bondmate, the Honorable and Beautiful Mrs. Tevos Williams." I finish saying that and hear three more bodies hit the ground. The first being Udina, who had woken up just in time to hear me. The second being Shepard passing out from the shock. The third, for some inexplicable reason, which I took to be a certain omnipotent bitch having her fun again, was Ashley passing out. Either way, it made explaining things so much easier for me.

"Since when! I would know if Tevos ever got married and I'm certain it wouldn't be with a Human!" Sparatus spits out.

"Choose your next words very carefully Sparatus. You're already on my shit list. I don't think you want to continue down this path." Tevos says in a low voice, her biotics flaring and you could her the venom in her voice. I love my life!

I chuckle, enjoying the grandiose nature of my joke. I'm about to speak when Nihlus pipes up and ruins the fun.

"You're the Ancient One aren't you?" He says, showing his uncanny ability to observe people.

"The what?" Sparatus asks.

"Got it in one Nihlus. I am the Ancient One of Humanity. Older than any Human out there as well as any other being with the exception of the long-living species. I hold power equal to that of the Asari Matriarchs as well as considerable sway in both the Human and Asari governments. Would like to guess the reason why you don't know and Valern does?" I say, smirking at Sparatus.

"Because you're a liar and you deserve to be locked up!" Sparatus shouts, royally pissed off by now. He doesn't notice Tevos glaring at him as she is radiating dark energy by now.

To my surprise it it Nihlus who comes to my defense. "No, the reason is because he planned all of this to make you look like a fool as well as have a countermeasure against 'rogue' Turian militants. We Turians know nothing of this Human AO who's supposedly has the power and authority equal to the Asari Matriarchs, hah! What a lie those Humans cooked up to try and scare us! That would be the general idea any Turian would have if they heard a rumor about him. I suspect that all the Salarian Spectres knew of the AO and had standing orders not to inform any Turians under any situation about him. It is likely that. The Asari Spectres also knew of him especially and likely had the same orders as well as additional ones due to his position. Turians in general also have an intense dislike of Humans because of the First contact War and that we were no longer the only strong military force in the galaxy. We also have to consider how our forces, Turian soldiers, slaughtered Human innocents at Shanxi, which we all know is against the Treaty of Farixen, and forced Humanity to pay for our attack and their losses. Face it Councilor, it was a security issue. What would happen if the Hierarchy knew of him? He would have assassins after him at the drop of a pin."

At this point I can only thank the Lady for my impulses. Nihlus actually managed to guess my underlying reasons and general extent of my authority without too much trouble. "Nihlus is correct Sparatus. Your predecessor knew of me however as he had to deal with Humanity during the aftermath of the First Contact War. You don't know because I made sure the previous Turian Councilor did not keep any files in regards to me. Now, since I'm done quickening your departure from the council for the moment, I do believe we have a Rogue Spectre to deal with." I finish as everyone starts waking up.

Shepard glares at me once she has her bearings and gives me a look that promises a long and thorough discussion later. Udina just hung his head because he knew his place when I was around. Ashley just gets up and rubs her head because she suddenly had a splitting headache.

"Once Saren is online the hearing shall commence." Tevos says, having calmed down after hearing Sparatus get told by Nihlus.

Saren's image had popped up on the holo after she said that and he just had to open his mouth. "So, shall we get these baseless accusations out of the way now? I have business to attend to." He says, being direct and insulting Humanity at the same time.

"Yes, let us dismiss these preposterous charges, it is wasting our time." Sparatus adds, having not learned anything from that lesson and still trying to hold on to that one imaginary shred of power he had left.

"Sure sure. Try to cover you ass again Douchebag Turian, were you not paying attention to Saren's face? Or were you too busy looking at his ass?" I ask Sparatus, smirking at him. Hey, he had the nerve to call me Human and be a general douche. Why not put him down?

Valern steps in and gets things back on track this time. "Enough with that Major, we need to get this done. Present your case and don't screw around."

I nod, still smirking. Saren's ass was getting banned this time and there was no getting around it. We had enough evidence against him. I step forward and play the audio file from the point where I had stepped in as Draugen. Upon hearing its voice, everyone was alert. No one could deny Saren's guilt if that being had stepped in. After the audio file finished I stepped back. I wasn't smiling however because that was the first time I have heard my own voice in that form. That voice carried the wisdom of someone beyond his years and hearing it now I realize I had the accent then too. If one was to compare it to anything it would probably sound like Balin from The Hobbit. Only much deeper and more ancient.

Of course my thoughts are interrupted by douche. "Is this it? No one has recorded Draugen's voice and no one here has 'heard' his voice aside from that one mission. This could easily be a fake." Sparatus says, air-quoting heard. Tevos actually face-palms at his stupidity and Valern let's loose an exasperated sigh. I had made sure that the STG had a few recordings of me in action, having an audio file would not surprise me in the least. Yeah, I had a lot of time to plan.

"Actually Sparatus, I think I can speak for myself and Councilor Tevos when I say that we have recordings of Draugen and its voice is among those recordings. We can attest to that being the actual voice." Valern says, rubbing his chin.

"Councilor Valern is correct Sparatus. This audio file is authentic." Tevos adds on, making Sparatus frown, or at least I think that was a frown. I don't really know Turian expressions that well despite having so many years to get used to it.

Saren actually looked unnerved after hearing that. He knew that the Draugr was a very real threat to his status and plans, but he didn't know how much of a threat it really was to him. "Yes, the Draugr is on that audio file speaking to my dear friend Nihlus. Sure, he says my name once or twice, but you don't hear me there at all. This could be just a set up." He says, covering his tracks. "Nihlus my friend, you know I would never shoot at you. I had just noticed The Draugr appear and he looked as if he was going to kill you. So I thought fast and fired." He continues. It would have been a good case really if not for me.

"Regardless of your 'friendship', " I air quote him, insulting him and Sparatus at the same time. "with Nihlus, why were you on Eden Prime during the attack? I know for certain that Nihlus did not tell you anything about the mission and yet you were there. So, why were there during our mission to pick up the artifact Saren?" I ask, maintaining my blank face and leading him into a trap. I'm grinning on the inside though as Saren had never liked humans, so he didn't realize that humanity was better equipped and experienced in the art of the verbal war.

"I knew nothing of the Prothean artifact. I was only in the system and a distress call was sent out to which I promptly responded." Saren replies, not realizing he fell for my trap like a sucker. Shepard caught on by this point and picked up the reins.

"We never said it was Prothean, Saren. How could you possibly know that?" She says, smirking as everything fell into place. Even Sparatus had realized Saren was guilty by now, and was hanging his head in shame. But we weren't quite done yet.

"One last piece of evidence that our dear friend Miss Zorah acquired is to be presented. Tali if you would please?" I ask, indicating for her to step forward and come up next to me. She's rubbing her hands nervously and actually misses the predatory look in my mate's eye as Tevos looks at Tali.

"I was fighting some Geth and after I killed one I managed to salvage part of its memory core." She says, presenting her Omni-tool to the council. I had half a mind to tune this out because it would just be Saren speaking of his victory. I'm glad I didn't though. This was actually rather funny.

* * *

_"WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE SPIRITS WAS THAT SPIRITS DAMNED DRAUGR DOING THERE! IT RUINED EVERYTHING! Saren shouts, enraged that he couldn't kill Nihlus and had to run in fear away from a legend. "SPIRITS DAMMIT!"_

_"Saren calm down, we got the vision and the beacon was still destroyed." Benezia told Saren in a calming voice._

_"YOU WANT ME TO BE CALM!? ILL GIVE YOU CALM WHEN THE DRAUGR AND NIHLUS ARE DEAD!" Saren yells at Benezia before ordering several Geth to hunt myself and Nihlus down. He storms out of the room and the Geth this memory came from doesn't move._

_Benezia sighs, which shocked me, as she was always maintaining her elegant and sophisticated aura before. Now she was displaying emotion. "Why did I sign up for this again? Oh right, because I can apparently guide the crazy Turian down a softer path and save lives. I wonder how my little wing is doing?" She says and the feed cuts off._

* * *

I swear my jaw dropped at that. Benezia wasn't indoctrinated yet! What the hell! By the Lady! I didn't even think it was possible. I quickly calm myself and turn my head to the council. Saren had actually cut his feed and ran after the video started.

"Well... I think we know he's guilty for sure." I say after a moment of silence. I could tell Noveria will be an interesting trip.

"I think I can speak for the council when I say that Saren is stripped of his Spectre status and is now a wanted fugitive." Sparatus speaks up, trying to save face again. I had a feeling that there would be a few more bare-face turians around once they realized how blind Sparatus could be.

"Then he must be brought to justice! Send a fleet after him!" Anderson calls out in that voice. The get it done NOW voice.

"We cannot send a fleet after him without causing a war with the Terminus Systems Captain. I'm sure you would agree that fighting two wars at the same time is a rather dumb idea." Tevos answers him. I love it when she's being so smarticles!

"Then there is only one other option Councilors." Udina says, speaking for the first time in this meeting.

"NO! Its too soon! Humanity isn't ready for this!" Sparatus objects vehemously. Typical.

"The Ambassador is right Sparatus. You have made enough of a fool out of yourself today and likely will again if you continue to open your mouth. Humanity is the best choice for this mission. They adapt far better than the Salarians do. They are a military power as great as the Turians as well and showed it back in the First Contact War. Their spec ops almost matches that of the Asari as well. Here we have the best Humanity has to offer, and you want to waste that because they are humans?" Valern asks, heavily criticizing Sparatus for lack of thought.

"I can personally vouch for Shepard Councilor. She is bona fide Spectre material." Nihlus adds his two cents in, increasing the amount of general dislike towards Sparatus.

"Commander Shepard, step forward. It is the decision of the Council that you be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Recon branch of the Citadel." Tevos begins.

"Spectres are not trained, but chosen. Individuals forged in the fire of service and battle, those whose actions elevate them above rank and file." Valern continues.

"Spectres are an ideal, a symbol. The embodiment of courage, determination, and self-reliance. They are they right hand of the Council, instruments of our will." Tevos says, I picked up on the irony and knew that was more directed towards me.

"Spectres bear a great burden. They are protectors of gallactic peace, both our first and last line of defense. The safety of the galaxy is theirs to uphold." Sparatus says. I glare at him for this line.

"You are the second human Spectre, Commander. This is yet again a great accomplishment for you and your species." Tevos says, doing a very good job of holding back a grin as she says that. After she says that everyone with the exception of myself, Valern, and Tevos blink, realizing what she just said.

I start grinning madly again, this was just too easy. Even better when Shepard realizes she just got outplayed by me... again!

"Second human Spectre?!"


	4. The Talk and the Realization

**After the council meeting, just outside Udina's office. Pavel POV**

* * *

Shepard was pissed. No, pissed is an understatement. She was ready to bitotically tear me a new one. Its a good thing she doesn't know about the rest of what I've done. If she did then she there's no telling what she might do. Right now she was in Udina's office and from the sound of it she was tearing the place up.

"You want to tell us what's going on Major?" Ashley asks me, finally reaching the end of her patience and desperately needing to satisfy her curiosity.

"It rather simple really. I am an enigma among humans. Also, I take pleasure in confounding Shepard to no end. That means she has little to no information on me. Well other than that I am apparently The First Human Spectre, a biotic, and the husband of the Asari councilor. Tali for you to understand this compare it to the Geth and Saren, Your people created the Geth but the Quarians have little to no current information about them and you really really don't like them. Now you find out that there is a biotic Geth. Its a WTF moment. Granted there are no biotic Geth but you get the idea. For the last comparison think of how Saren is working with and seems to be in command of the Geth.

"You mean to tell me you have the ear of the Asari government, the classified access of the highest echelon, and the skill of an Asari Commando?" Ashley asks me, amazed and confounded just like Shepard is, albeit without the anger.

"Yep, and of course there is more to me but that is classified. Besides, I wouldn't tell anyways because Id rather not have people going nuts and wanting me for my awesome body." I joke, using my hands to emphasize what I say. I actually notice Tali start fiddling with her hands almost unconsciously. _'Interesting'_

"Are you sure pissing off Shepard is the best thing to do?" The Chief asks, unsure of my sanity now.

"Nope, doesn't mean I won't do it and miss out on the fun though. Seriously though, it's a good thing that I do what I do. This way, Shepard has a form of stress relief by finding ways to piss me off, however unlikely that is." I tell her before I duck as a high-powered warp blasts through the wall and would have hit my head. Ashley just stares at me as if she just made her point.

The door opened and revealed Shepard, who was apparently done with her rant and destruction of Udina's office. "Get in here Major. Everyone else stay outside." She says to me. But I could tell that was an order, and one I would need to follow. I enter the office and observe a great number of scorch marks and dents.

"Major." She says after the door closes and she sits in Udina's chair. "Tell me everything you're hiding. I don't give a shit if its classified or not you need to tell me now!" She orders, keeping her voice even. It was still threatening though.

"Sure. I'll tell you about my glorious sex life with my dear Tevos and how wild she is in bed. Let me tell you this, what I said to her when I entered the chambers wasn't just a joke. It was an inside joke!" I finish, giving a short laugh after saying that.

She glares at me since I haven't given her what she wants. "I'm still waiting Pavel." She says.

"And I'm still waiting to hear about your sex life. I don't think I'm going to hear about that anytime soon." I retort, setting it up so that she gives me a reason not to tell her.

"My sex life has nothing to do with this. This is an entirely different matter and even then it is not your place to know." Shepard replies, causing me to smirk as she fell for it.

"So why does mine matter you? You want me to tell you every single detail about my personal life. I'm married to a councilor. Why do you need to know how it happened. You try to do anything to break us up and I can guarantee you will piss Tevos off. I'm the first human Spectre. So what? That is a heavily classified secret that only select Admirals and the higher ups know. Its going to remain a secret because I do not want to be in the spotlight. You are the vanguard of Humanity and will be in the light while I remain in the shadows. So what if that idea pisses you off. That's my business and not yours. You have no need to know." I say, keeping my voice low and my face blank of all emotion. I like to think that I can be pretty intimidating when I do that.

She sighs, knowing that she has lost this battle. "This isn't over, I promise you that. Now, can you tell me what our next move is?" She asks, finally getting down to business.

"The woman that was in the video is an Asari Matriarch named Benezia. She is a very powerful biotic and has many followers. I would recommend finding her daughter first to see if she has any idea where Benezia went. Though due to us having more ground missions I would suggest gathering some specialists for these ground missions." I tell her, glad to finally get to the root of the matter.

"Of course you do. I also guess you have a few picked out?" She asks, not at all happy about the prospect more ground missions.

"Just two. You can get one while I'll get the other. Garrus Vakarian is a Turian C-sec officer who was investigating Saren before we showed up at the Council chambers. The other is a Krogan by the name Urdnot Wrex. He currently has been contracted to kill a corrupt business owner. I figure I would take Tali to get Wrex while you take Ashley to get Garrus." I say to her, obviously omitting what I was going to do for Wrex.

"That sounds like a plan. Now go ahead and get to it. I'm tired of seeing your ugly mug for this day." She says, smiling a little at the insult. Lucky for me I had payback planned already. She gets up and walks out of the room with me in tow. Apparently, during my brief talk with Shepard, Udina had showed up with Anderson. As soon as I got out Shepard was dragged back in for who knows what. Of course I knew but that's besides the point.

"C'mon La Belleza." I say, indicating Tali, "we have a Krogan to find." I finish and start walking. I manage take only one step before I hear someone shout because of the damage done to their office. Then I hear sobs. Tali gives me an odd look and I mouth Shepard to her. She nods in understanding and follows me to the elevator. Once in I decide to start some conversation, because I knew it would be a while.

"So, how is your pilgrimage coming along Tali?" I ask, unsure of what else to talk about.

She takes a moment to think before answering. "Crappy, really really crappy. I suddenly get a message about Geth on an out of the way planet, get an entire crew murdered by a bosh'tet Turian, get chased by said Turian across the galaxy. I got arrested and another Turian ignores my plea for help. The first Turian shows up, shoots me and my friend and we have to run again. Then I'm forced to kill him to kill the Turian so I can escape. I get to the clinic to get help and that is where your team finds me. How did you even know where I was?' She asks. She is actually shaking after saying it all.

I move over to her and wrap her up in a hug. I stay silent for a moment as I contemplate what to tell. That was apparently long enough of a silence though and she hesitantly hugs me back. "I'm just sorry I couldn't get to you sooner Tali. What you heard in the back in the council room, about me being this 'Ancient One'. Means that I'm really old for a human. I'm approximately 583 years old. With my appearance came certain knowledge of what is to come and I knew what would happen to you. I wasn't able to get to you before you were wounded but I was able to do something better." I pause so that she can digest this information. "I managed to save Keenah. He isn't dead. He is in a coma though from the shock of his wounds but I made sure to get him to a hospital in time to keep him alive."

She starts sobbing tears of joy after I tell her that Keenah is alive. Because finally her day got better, finally she has something to look forward too, finally she has a friend that she can talk to. "Thank you Pavel. Really, thank you so much!" She exclaimed. Her voice was still shaky, but now you could hear a smile as she said it.

We end the hug as the elevator reaches the C-sec offices. She sniffles a few times and then I lead her out and over to where Wrex is.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah that was a short chapter for me folks. I had planned to make it longer But then I wrote the elevator scene and it just didn't feel right to go from emotional straight to Wrex. I mean, have you ever seen an emotional scene with a Krogan? Other than Blood rage and lust of course.**

**Remember to Review folks. You're drivin me nuts by not tellin me what ya think.**

**Also thank ya GlaDOS-01 for all your help so far through the story.**


	5. Why you do not piss off those in charge

**Udina's office, after Pavel leaves. Shepard's POV.**

"MY OFFICE!" Udina yells upon seeing the state of his workplace. He glares at me and I actually shrink back from the ferocity of his stare. Where was this Udina in the meeting?

"You should know better than to do crap like this Shepard." Anderson patronizes me.

"This is going to come out of your paycheck SHEPARD!" Udina yells. Turning his body and pointing his finger at me. Where the hell was this Udina in the meeting?!

"I apologize for my actions Ambassador, Captain. I lost control over my anger and it will not happen again." I say, bowing for good measure.

"This will not go without punishment Commander. You have destroyed public property and opened up room for even more of a security risk from the people who will repair this office." Anderson says as I realize how badly I screwed up here. If any of our enemies got a man in the repair team then the office wouldn't even be safe to talk.

"Lucky for you the AO already knows of this and is sending his own repair team to care of this. Make no mistake though this will come out of you paycheck and any damage you cannot pay out of it will come from your own pocket." Anderson continues on and I almost breathe a sigh of relief. Unfortunately just as quick as it turned better it turned out worse for her. "Shepard, since you became a Spectre I have to step down as the CO of the Normandy. You need to be able to do your job and not have to follow Alliance orders that would come from me. We know the Major would have turned down command of the Normandy in favor of you but because you pulled this shit you will remain the XO and Major Williams will be the CO." I face-palmed after Anderson said that. Yeah, I screwed up big time.

"Shepard you are now skating on thin ice as a Council Spectre and as an Alliance Soldier. You lose Spectre status to anything but Death himself then you can kiss your career and retirement check goodbye!" Udina says, still somewhat angry at Shepard but much calmer than when he walked it.

"Is there anything else Ambassador? Captain?" I ask desperately wanting to get out of here already.

"No Commander, dismissed." Anderson says. I snap to attention and salute him. He returns the salute and I walk as fast as I can out of that office.

After I exit the office I notice Ashley leaning against the wall with her eyes closed and cradling her head with one hand. "Something wrong Williams?" I ask, weirding myself out and expressing my concern at the same time.

"Its fine Commander, just a headache." She replies, bouncing herself off the wall and turning towards me.

"If you say so Williams, I trust that this won't be a problem?" I state and she nods in reply. I eye her for a second before I start walking to the elevator at a brisk pace. "So, was that ass- ahem, Pavel right when he said all of that stuff on Eden Prime?" I question, having just entered the lobby.

"He actually was, I'm still having trouble deciding if he is batshit crazy or what I might have been if not for, nevermind." Ashley says to Shepard but cuts off abruptly, looking rather uncomfortable now.

I eye her again and mentally weigh my options. _'Question her about it when it is uncomfortable or let her tell me on her own time? Yeah option B is better.'_ "Alright Chief, but you know that you can always talk with me. I need someone for girl talk after all." I reply with a smile as the elevator opens up for the two of us.

It starts going down and we stand in awkward silence before I decide to break it. "Soooo, you come here often?" I don't get a reply as Ashley faints and fall to the ground. "ASHLEY!" I shout, rushing to her side, I don't even know how I did that when we are in an elevator but I did. I hear a noise that signifies the elevator reaching C-sec and the doors open up.

"Ma'am? Is something wrong?" asks a Turian who was waiting at the elevator doors.

"Yes, I need to get her to my ship ASAP" I tell him quickly and start lifting Ashley up. He rushes to help me pick her up.

"Let me help, just where is your ship?" The Turian replies.

"It's the Normandy, so we're going to the elevator over there ." I point out after putting one of Ashley's arms around my neck while the Turian did the same with the other. We lift her up and get her to the elevator that takes us up to the Normandy. As the elevator starts going up I finally take a look at the Turian who is helping me. He looks familiar with that visor and blue markings. It hits me that this was the Turian C-sec officer arguing with that other one about Saren. I didn't get his name though as Pavel kinda rushed us into the chamber after picking up Tali. "You're a C-sec officer, can you get this damn thing to go any faster?" I ask.

"Unfortunately no, but if it helps I hate it just as much as you do." He replies.

"Then why is it so fucking slow? You're C-sec and even you hate it. Fucking elevators." I curse. I'm really irritated that Ashley is injured and that Anderson is stepping down as CO of the Normandy.

"Because of regulations maybe? Why would I know anyways? I'm just a Security officer." He answers.

Luckily for him since I was close to ripping he mandibles off, the door opened and we could see the Normandy. I start forward and so does the Turian. I'm actually walking extremely fast right now. Of course I don't realize this nor do I realize that the nameless Turian is managing to keep up with a pissed off woman. All I was focused on doing was getting Ashley to the med bay.

It is at this time that I finally call the normal on my com-line. "Normandy this is Commander Shepard, I need Dr. Chakwas to get the med bay ready for an incoming patient."

"Roger that Commander, did the Major Ass piss you off again and finally get the shit kicked out of him?" Joker replies, his voice brimming with joy at the prospect. I'm about to reply before the Devil cuts me off.

"I heard that Joker. Looks like you didn't get the memo about not insulting your CO. Yes, I'm the boss now. Keep up the good work, bye." Pavel cuts in and screws with us all this time we've reached the Normandy's air lock and are going through the pressurizing process.

"Can I get on a different ship?" Joker asks through the comm.

"No." "NO!" I reply at the same time as Pavel but to my surprise he is louder than I am. We get into the ship and start down the steps to deck 2.

"Shutting up now." Joker replies, getting the message since Pavel raised his voice. The Turian and I have finally reached the med bay and are in the process of setting Ashley down and laying her on one of the beds.

Dr. Chakwas enters the room and immediately heads over to Ashley. "I take one potty break and someone pops up with an injury." She says shaking her head before she sighs. The aged doctor begins examining Ashley. I start fidgeting in impatience as she does.

She takes a few minutes before she finishes and closes her Omni-tool. "She'll be fine, all she had was a concussion. Of course if this were the 21st century then it would be a pretty serious one, but this is a piece of cake and she will be good to go soon enough. All I recommend is that she rest and sit out the next mission." Dr. Chakwas said, heading over to her desk.

* * *

All I could do was nod at her diagnosis. I wanted to say something but no words came to mind. Nothing at all. Which was unusual even for me, except in the case of Pavel of course, but he can do that to anyone.

"Ummm, is it okay for me to leave now, I do have things to do." A voice interrupts my thoughts, or lack of them. It was the Turian, whose name I realize that I do not know yet.

"Oh Yes! Thank you for your help Misterrrr... you know, I haven't caught your name yet have I? I'm Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy." I say in hopes of getting the name of my Good Samaritan.

"It's Garrus, Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security. And I'm glad to be of help." He replies without missing a beat.

My mind overloads with this information and I just start laughing. Of course the Turian who just happens to be at the elevator door when my crew member faints is the one I'm looking for. Of course my crew-mate has to faint and unintentionally save me the trouble of tracking him down.

"Hah! Pay up Joker!" Pavel's voice rings out over the intercom, ending my psychotic episode.

"Dammit! Remind me why I take these bets with you again?" Joker replies, obviously unhappy with the outcome.

"Because when I say something you don't believe a person would actually do that." Pavel reminds him. "Anyways Mister Vakarian, we've taken care of your things and also taken the liberty of getting Saren kicked out of the Spectres. Now normally this would be all but I have one more piece of news for you. I have contacted your superiors and you are now one of the Normandy's ground team members and will help us chase down Saren. Have a nice day." Pavel finishes and ends the transmission.

The Turian only stands there in shock as he tries to get a handle on what just happened. I sigh as Pavel has yet again confounded me. Of course he knows who the Turi- Garrus is. "I need a drink" He says as he shakes himself out of his stupor.

"So do I, Chora's Den?' I ask, not wanting to deal with this right now.

"A place full of low-lives, assholes, and cheap booze? Why not?" Garrus replies. Yeah he definitely needs that drink if he agreed to that, but then again, so do I.

* * *

It takes all of ten minutes to get to Chora's Den and I find the place looks shittier than usual on the outside. Sure the place was a hole but now there were bullet marks littering the walls just outside. Normally I would think nothing of it but now I was starting to get worried because Pavel was unpredictable. I share a look with Garrus and we both draw our weapons and proceed slowly into the bar. The first thing we see is that there are a Krogan and a Quarian that looks an awful lot like Tali. Garrus moves to aim and I quickly bring my arm up to stop him.

The next thing we see is the most gruesome and terrifying site I've ever seen. Pavel is sitting on a pile of bodies grinning like a madman and looking up at a severed head he holds in his hand. "Ah poor Fist," he begins, "I punched thee well." He says and then turns and notices us.

"Ah! Shepard! Would you like a drink?"


	6. Are You Sirius?

**Citadel Security Lobby, Pavel's POV**

* * *

Wrex!" I shout, walking towards him with my arms raised.

Wrex spots me and starts walking towards me using long strides. As he gets close his biotics flare up and some of it focuses around his right fist. He walks right up to me and stares down at me as if I were a puny little man. Wait? How did that pop into my thoughts?

Every person in the room tensed as a fight was ready to breakout. Wrex stared at me for a minute or two more and then smiles. "SIRIUS you old dog! You aren't dead yet?" Wrex says and laughs, hitting me on the back.

"You of all people should know how hard it is to kill me Rexy. Remember the last time when we were on Omega? Ria was so pissed at me! I really thought I was dead." I laugh before rubbing my back as the pain set in.

"You should have been born a Krogan Sirius, you would make my brother look like a Salarian." Wrex grins, very glad to see me if he pulled the Salarian line. But then he stops smiling as he finally realizes that I'm here. "You've gotten into another crazy situation haven't you?"

Being who I am and the nerd I was 565 years ago, I pulled a classic move. I started rubbing the back of my head and laughing nervously. My eyes were closed and I had the cheesiest grin on my face. "Remember when I said I would tell you when the shit hits the fan." Wrex nods, and then realizes how important my showing up is.

"I need a drink." Is all he says. Over the years I may have involved myself in quite a few dangerous things. When others said the shit hit the fan I did not, something that did not go unnoticed among my comrades. If I said something was bad then it was bad. But never before did they hear me say the shit hit the fan.

"Perfect! I know just the place!" I reply in a chipper tone, glad that he didn't punch my face in or biotically tear me a new one. I may have awesome powers but those won't stop a supercharged Krogan punch to the face. "Ever heard of Chora's Den?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

Wrex shakes his head as he realizes that I know what he's been hired for this time. "You still are a sneaky bastard aren't you?" Wrex says and walks past me to the elevator. I follow behind him along with Tali while contemplating what I was going to do next.

"So how'd you find out this time?" Wrex asks as we enter the elevator.

I press the button before replying. "Oh, maybe by seeing a prophetic vision a few centuries ago. Or maybe it was some information network that I have. Or maybe I'm from a different dimension where my people were Gods in the figurative sense compared to people here! Either way I already knew where to find you." I reply, enjoying the fact that I know Wrex will brush off the last thing I said as me just being an ass.

"You've been busy that's for sure, but what are you doing here with a kid?" Wrex asks, indicating Tali with his thumb. She had been standing there silently the entire time and twiddling her thumbs nervously. I had forgotten how intimidating Wrex could be.

"She's a fellow crewmate, and one that will go on missions as part of the ground crew when needed. So don't be too hard on her Wrex. Besides, aren't you the one who got such a big head when I told you what Rex means where I come from?" I quip, that was indeed a funny month. One would think Wrex would have a little more maturity when he finds out how Kingly his name is. Yeah, no, the Krogan badass was struttin his stuff for an entire month before he realized I'm the only person from my planet who knew what it meant. Wrex has an epic sad face. I still have the pictures.

"So you really are Sirius aren't you." Wrex states, as he apparently had his doubts about who I was.

"Yes, I'm totally serious." I deadpan, giving him a look that says 'Naww, really?' Before I break out laughing at my joke. Apparently I forgot in my bout of sarcasm that we were using translators, so the joke wasn't understood by either of them. I notice this when I stop laughing and immediately. Get depressed. I sigh as a good joke had just gone to waste. "In my language. Sirius, my name, shares the same pronunciation as Serious. If you were human, or at least spoke English, that would have been a seriously funny joke." I explain, lamenting the misfortune I had come upon.

To my surprise Wrex laughs after I explain it. Of course I take it to be Wrex laughing at my failure so I feel worse than I was. "So you're telling me that your name was the same as your temperament all this time?" I nod as I come out of my short depression. "Wow, to think that you were tricking us the entire time. You're the trickiest person I've ever met. Even your name was a joke despite you having been serious the whole time we knew you." Wrex says, still chuckling a little bit.

Of course as I'm about to reveal the rest of the secret to my name the elevator dings and the doors open up. Letting us know that we had arrived on the floor. Of course just after we step out of the elevator I realize something. "Aww shit. This place really needs a better elevator system. That that's it we are taking the rapid transit!" I exclaim and start walking around the bend the upper level. Wrex and Tali share a look before Wrex shrugs and they both follow me.

Its annoying when the elevators don't go where you need them too. Sure you're in them but all you would see a squad conversation in place of the loading screen. The worse is that you would have to take several elevators just to get where I needed to be . So I thank the people who make rapid transit or I would have shot a few people in C-sec. By now I am halfway across the bridge and Shepard, as my omni-tool has alerted me, is in the elevator. Good for me because she won't able to stop my fun.

Wait. Why do I keep thinking about where I am ? Oh shite I blanked out. Y'know, when you're just doing something and forget you're doing it? I'm inner monloguing again. DAMMOT! I even mispronounced Dammit! WTF?

Anyways, I've just passed through the lower markets and have stepped onto the catwalk when I spot the enemy, the two Turians area just lounging around at the door. They are alert but we are not the ones they are looking for so why should they care? We get close enough for me to use Penelope before I shoot a grin to Wrex. He gets the message and also grins in reply. We pull out our shotguns and respectively blow a Turian's brains out. Well, as respectively as blowing someone's brains out can be but you get the idea. The doors open up for us and we step into the den. Since they didn't know we were coming, I just relax for a moment before opening my omni-tool and setting it to the voice amplifier.

"HELLO LADIES AND GENTLEMAN! WE ARE ABOUT TO HAVE A VERY DEADLY TO MY ENEMIES, in this case Fist and his men, SHOW USING LIVE AMMO. IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO DIE THEN I SUGGEST YOU RUN OUT OF THIS DOOR SCREAMING AND DON'T COME BACK FOR THE REST OF THIS WEEK. HAVE A GOOD DAY!" I walk out of the club before the guards can open fire and I start laughing at the just shakes his head at me in disapproval of my showboating. Tali at least looks somewhat happy because I let civilians have a chance to run. Normally I wouldn't bore you with the details but Harkin's face is just too hilarious! From the smell of it he just shit himself as well as let loose his fluids before he even got out of his seat. Septimus walks out as calmly as once can in a crowd and just glares at me for ruining his day. Jenna also gives me a glare since I pretty much made all her work useless. Hell, even Fist tries to sneak out but I grab him by the neck and pull him off to the side.

"Hey Rexy isn't this the target?" I ask Wrex, already knowing the answer.

"You already know he is Sirius so let's kill him and get the money." Wrex replies, unhappy that Fist was such a coward. Even if it made his job easier it killed the fun.

"Nah, it's not his time for dying just yet. How about a contest buddy? I'm going to throw him back in there. Then we will give him enough time to run to his little office and hide. Then we kill his men before with give him a painful death? Sound good to you?" I ask, already knowing this answer as well. I mean, would you turn down the offer when you're a badass? Dammit, I'm doing it again.

"You have such a twisted mind Pavel. To think I ever thought you were an Asari. Do it." Wrex says, grinning since he was going to get a a very challenging one since I'm a badass but still a fight nonetheless.

I grin yet again and move to the door. It opened just long enough for me to kick Fist's ass into the room. I hear some gunfire and laugh as Fist is shot at by his own men. "Stupid coward. Never run when you can hide. Either way he was going to die but because of his cowardice his plans were shot to smithereens. Hey Tali, guess what. I say, since I was going to enjoy telling her this next part.

"What?" She replies.

"That piece of shite I just kicked into the club would have sent assassins after you had you gone to him like was suggested previously. In essence, if I didn't meet you then at the clinic, you would have his men coming after you like that one Turian." I tell her, hoping to make her feel better about this.

Her response is even better than I'd hoped. She cocks her shotgun and says "Let's do this." Since when did I create a badass?

I don't think to contemplate it as I draw Irene and aim her at the bar. I step forward to activate the door's sensor and in return the bartender opens fire as soon as he has a clear shot. Or he would have if he still had a head. No, wait, he did fire, it just did nothing to my shields. Wow, Fist must suck if he equips his bartender with shit. it's either that or my really expensive yet totally worth it armor is too good for him. Though this is a new one, having a headless corpse shooting at me. It's kinda funny in a sad way actually.

I take a few more steps in and almost miss Wrex gun down another enemy with his assault rifle because I was looking at the blood on the floor. I find it funny that Fist actually survived.

"Normandy, this is Command Shepard. I need Dr. Chakwas to get the med bay ready for an incoming patient." Shepard's voice comes over the comm.

The Krogan bouncer charges after that. I move Irene to aim but guess who beats me to the punch? Literally, Tali whacks the guy in the face with her shogun before using the momentum to swing her leg up for a wicked kick to the guy's face. Can anybody say WTF please? The Krogan is stunned by the badassery of a Quarian and cannot defend against the shotgun to the face that kills him. BOOYAH FOR QUARIANS I SAY!

"Roger that Commander, did the Major Ass piss you off again and finally get the shit kicked out of him?" Joker replies happily, well, before I ruin his day.

"I heard that Joker." I say and gun the other bartender down. I should probably stop using such high powered weaponry, it kills the fun. "Looks likek you didn't get the memo about not insulting your CO. Yep, I'm your boss now. Keep up the good work, have a nice day, and Ciao!"

"Can I get on a different ship?"

"No" "NO!" Shepard and I reply. Good to know we're on the same wavelength. I signal Tali to head around the bar to the left while Wrex and I go around the right. There were nine enemies in the game and so far we've gotten five. The headless bartender, the holy bartender, the headless Krogan, the unimportant thug Wrex killed, and the one I turned into the porcupine with seven purple icicles. Why seven? Because if I shot eight then he would explode. This was the guy up on stage too. Crap! I did it again!

My mind snaps to attention as Tali takes another enemy down with her shotgun and throws her knife with expert aim into another's skull. Jesus, Now where do I get her training?

"Shutting up now." Oh Joker, you should be glad you have Vroliks, it would make you shut up more often if you were out here.

With two enemies left Wrex charges one and I decide to be an ass to the other. How you ask? I switched Irene out for Penelope and leveled her with the poor guy's nut and pull the trigger. I admit the guy had some balls to stand and fight against me. Now he has lost more than just his balls, but the area and all that behind him due to how powerful Penelope is. I only grin as it felt so awesome to do that to someone.

"All clear!" I call since the only two left would be the warehouse workers. Tali retrieves her knife and Wrex just waits for us to get to him. I proceed to the door and it opens up to reveal the two unfortunate men.

"Nobody move! Or we'll shoot!" One of them says, since they're both pointing guns at us.

"Alright idiots, use your brains, Now how many guards were there? Nine. How many intruders? Three. How many of you are there? Two. How many scared Fists running past you to get away from us? One. **Drop the guns and run." **I order, letting a bit of my Draugr voice slip in to add to the effect.

Sure enough they dropped the guns and ran. letting me get some Paragon points and continue on to the coward.

Honestly this is kind of like a game when you have powerful ass shields and powerful ass guns. You just point, click, and shoot to win. Naturally this only has worked so well for me so far because they were all grunt level enemies with the exception being the two assassins at the door. Even then we had the element of surprise and shotguns with killer puns. It's kind of boring actually. My thoughts are interrupted by some voices over the comm, I don't hear the first part but I do catch something that I get to laugh about.

"It's Garrus, Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security. I'm glad to be of help." Garrus says, causing Shepard to short circuit somewhat. Now this may seem like some form of odd reality warp to you, or in this case, myself since I'm monologuing again, but it's actually pure luck and coincidence. Even before I fell through a black hole into Thessia I was a lucky SOB. Especially when it came to winning. I didn't always win mind you but Lady Luck was certainly a constant companion in spirit in my young eyes back then. Since arriving to this universe my luck is much harder to interpret as to how it will act and react, but rest assured that it will be funny as hell.

Shepard has calmed down now so I decide to put in my two cents. "HAH! Pay up Joker!" My voice rings out, somewhat startling Tali since I had seemingly spaced out again.

"Dammit! Remind me why I take these bets with you again?" He replies, obviously unhappy that I won again. What did I tell ya? Coincidence right?

"Because when I say something you don't believe a person would actually do that?" I tell him, feeling smug since I won, again. "Anyways Mister Vakarian, we've taken care of your things and also taken the liberty of getting Saren kicked out of the Spectres. Now normally this would be all but I have one more piece of news for you. I have contacted your superiors and you are now one of the Normandy's ground team members and will help us chase down Saren. Have a nice day." I finish and cut the comm line. Didn't need them hearing Fist did I?

I look towards Tali and Wrex and with a subtle jerk of my head they follow me onwards. Even if Fist as a turret in there now is not the time for guns. Now I get to let loose a little. I actually have half a mind to have them stay outside while I work but Wrex is no stranger to what I am going to do and Tali needs her own sort of vengeance, or so I think, I actually don't have a concrete reason yet. I step forward and trigger the sensor. Fist yells out his line that I honestly ignored in favor of manifesting my ice cloak. The turrets come out of their cubby holes and start firing. Since they are turrets and not petty thugs they actually get my shields down pretty quickly. 75%, 67%, 43%, 34%, I finally get tired and materialize a barrage of ice crystals that turn the turrets into metal pincushions. It's overkill I know but it's still better than going Draugr on them for nothing. Fist sees what I just did and immediately drops his gun and puts his hands up, as far as he can tell I just destroyed his machines with uber advanced biotics. Do you know how I can tell? Because the crystals are blue and so are biotics, and while Fist is smart enough to be a minor crimelord he isn't smart enough to think so well about what the fuck I just used. I just obliterated two turrets with my powers. That's all he can think about as well as begging and pleading for his life. I mean he is also plotting too but wouldn't you do the same? Wait, Of course I would, great, I'm going nuts in my old age.

"What do you want? Money? Power? Women? I'll give you anything you want! Just spare me! Please!" the coward begs. What did I do? I punched him in the face! Why? Because it was funny. Siriusly? Why else would I do it? Of course after I punch him in the face I kick him in the nuts just to be an ass. At least I didn't used his fist to punch himself in the nuts. So here I am at a dilemma. Do I kill Fist or enslave him? Oh how to choose! I know! I'll flip a coin!

I start digging into my pocket for my oversized quarter before I remember where I put it. Since I' a firm believer in lucky breaks I had a oversized quarter holder made in my armor and had it place right over my heart. I pull it out and show Fisf the object of his salvation or his demise. "Looky here Fist. I'm about to flip this coin to decide your fate. Heads you live, tails you die. Ready? Here it goes!" I step back and flip the coin.

It goes up spinning and continues to do so. Spin, spin, spin, spin, spin. It has reached the peak of its ascent and is coming down. Spin, spin, spin, spin, spin. I catch the coin and slap it down on the back of my hand. I slowly lift the hand covering quarter and start grinning.

* * *

**A/N: Lucky me, I finished this today. And I hadn't even planned the coin toss either. But it sounded like fun when I got to it.**

**Out of curiousity, what do you think it was? Heads? or Tails. It's already been decided though but which do you think it was. I thank all ye who reviewed and followed my story. I thank you all for being patient and waiting for me to get my story together**

**and to the guest who was reading it wrong, no Tali does not have a crush on Pavel.**


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